Pretentious restaurants – Oh, just get over yourselves

Whilst crossing the threshold of what was reported to be one of the finest new restaurants in town, I was informed that my chapeau was not apropos. Here I was, dressed in my finest haute couture, expecting to enjoy nouvelle cuisine with the community’s intelligentsia, being told I had made a faux pas that suggested I was bourgeois. A vapid, but stern, servant demanded that I could only enter the dining room sans hat.

My retort: “Methinks thou should go forth and fornicate thyself.”

What is it with ultra-fancy restaurants who give you the hairy eyeball at the door to see if you’re good enough for them. Hey, my credit card is just as good as that foppish twit over there, so give me a table and a bib ‘cause I’m about to tuck into some of those short ribs. By the way, is there ketchup on the table?

Today we rip into restaurants who believe they are the arbiters of good taste – and I’m not talking about their food. I’m pulling on my well-worn jeans, donning an “I’m with stupid” t-shirt and wearing well scented gym shoes to expose those demented posers. Now grab a can of Milwaukee’s Best and let’s go. I’m calling shotgun.

McDonalds makes fun of pretentious restaurants

Make Valentine’s Day savory or sweet with sexy edibles

When it comes to Valentine’s Day, candy is dandy, but it’s more fun when the candy is in the of form sexy underwear, like edible panties.

This week we sink our teeth into sexy edibles and give you all the deets on where they came from, what they’re made of and the best way to use them. Heck, we’ll even tell you how to make your own. No need to thank me – just send pictures.

Make your own candy panties

Make a sexy meat treat

Incoming pie! The story of food fights

It was a hot, dusty day at the O.K. Corral. Long ‘bout 3 p.m., two men squared off on the street, mere feet apart. Those that were both curious and brave stood to the side to see which would prevail.

Reaching quickly to his side, one of the men grabbed his weapon and said, “I’ve got a tomato and I’m not afraid to use it!” The crowd gasped.

His opponent fired back, “You’re done for. I’ve got a custard pie.” It took just moments for the loser to be covered in sugar, eggs and crust. To add insult to injury, it was a deep dish pie. His tomato on the ground, he bowed his head and snuck away.

OK, it’s a bit dramatic, but food fights have been a staple in comedy. They regularly appear as slapstick pranks … a cheap way to get a good laugh. Then there are the real food fights. In Spain, it’s La Tomatina, a day where residents and visitors hurl tomatoes at one another. In Italy it’s oranges and in Britain it’s custard pies. This week we look at food fights where they’ve happened and how you can stage your own. No doubt it will be a mess-terpiece.

Smart Cookie: The one where we have 2020 vision on upcoming food trends

The possible demise of Old Charley’s, fermented drinks, home meal kits – they are all a possibility in the coming year.

In this Smart Cookie episode, we’ll tell you what the experts predict will be the food trends for 2020. It’s the second day of the year, so now’s the time to get the jump on all the foodies in your life and show them you’re in the know.

If the food doesn’t kill you, the injection will — inmates’ final meal

If you had only one day left to live, what food would you eat?

Odds are that you won’t have any clue as to what that day and time will be, so you won’t be faced with that decision — unless your address is Death Row.

Final meals are becoming a thing of the past, but in the past there have been some interesting requests. And there is the guy who has prepared final meals for more than 300 inmates. We’ll tell you about him, too.

Take a flying bite on a rolling doughnut

There are few things as tasty as a warm doughnut — unless it’s a doughnut with fresh apple cider.

Watching the dough slide gently into the oil at Krispy Kreme, seeing them flip, then be inundated with a glaze, you wouldn’t think that doughnuts originate a long, long time ago.

Doughnuts are the topic this week and if you’re obsessed with how to spell it, don’t worry, we’ll you the skinny (which you won’t be if you eat too many) on that, too.

How about a hearty helping of ugly vegetables?

Are you a squeezer or a sniffer? Maybe you just eyeball the fruits and vegetables in the store to decide which you want to eat. If you see a blemish on a tomato, do you reject it? How about a bit of brown on the cauliflower?

You already know that the blemished food is just as good for you as the ugly stuff. What you may not know is that psychologists have figured out why we tend to reject damaged goods and how we can change our minds about it. There even businesses sprouting up which will deliver ugly vegetables to your doorstep.

Ugly is in the eye of the beholder, but there is a pretty truth about ugly vegetables and some disturbing things about those beautiful apples in the store. In this episode, we’ll peel it all away.

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Halloween candy can give you quite a scare!

When you were a kid, did you ever get something in your Halloween bag that you really didn’t want. You may have tried to swap it with someone else who had something you wanted, but it was so bad that they asked you where you got it so they could avoid that house.
Halloween has a long history, stretching back hundreds of years, but the introduction of candy is a fairly recent innovation.

On this Halloween special we’ll tell you the holiday’s background, the ugly truth about pins and needles nestled in the sweet confines of chocolate bars and which candies are most favored, state by state. This episode is all treat and no tricks … maybe.

Favorite Halloween candy, state by state

Want a better life? Just add yeast

Yeast makes a dandy loaf of bread or a great beer, but there is much more to it than that. Research suggests yeast may help fight cancer. Nutritional yeast provides vitamins and minerals that help build strong muscles and bones. It’s also really tasty on popcorn.

There’s a lot more to yeast than you may think and today we’ll tell you all about it.